There Is No ‘Usual’
As many lucky lads have gotten to enjoy, at Funhouse I offer the Porn Star Experience – and I do so with great gusto.
However after a couple years of making many a bed rock, there’s one persistent little pet peeve known to pop up and spoil even the raunchiest of moods: “The Usual”.
When logging online to your favorite site to watch some filmed fun, do you blindly stab your mouse at links until any clip at all appears? Do you go to the genre listings and hunt out “The Usual”? I don’t think so. The search for porn is usually accompanied by at least some specifics: girl on girl; bondage; toy play; POV; anal; naughty schoolgirl; the list goes on.
A Porn Star Experience, much like porn viewing, can be catered to your personal desires. If you’ve booked a PSE, you’ve probably got some sort of raunchy dream in mind. Which is why it is so painfully frustrating how often I will lead a man to bed and ask him what dirty things I can do to sate his lust, to be met with a shrug and request of “oh, the usual”.
No. No, no, no, I assure you men, you probably don’t want “the usual”. What even is the “usual”? Are we talking statistically? Because considering the many dungeon activities, a request the usual you may in fact be asking for a bit of small penis humiliation, some fisting, a little bit of cross dressing, and a tied up ball sack. The porn industry isn’t a multibilliondollar one because everybody is hankering for the usual. Have somebody describe “usual” sex, and they’re probably going to think of plain old penetration – in which case, not my problem if you want to pay extra for “the usual”.
Now I know that sometimes the request for the usual is out of shyness – but honey, no matter what your fantasy, it’s almost certainly not the most extreme we will have heard.
Boys, there is no way we can provide you the porn star experience that you desire unless you tell us what it is. We can’t read your thoughts; we don’t know what you like. I offer porn star experience because what I like is fulfilling your fantasy – and I don’t care if you think it’s an odd or unusual one. So long as it doesn’t have any illegal themes, then I assure you, I will enjoy it.
All I ask is that before booking a PSE, you have a think about what you want.