As a regular contributor to the Funhouse blog site, I thought that it was time I talked about my own experience with this ‘brilliant but expensive pastime’. Since my early teens sex has dominated my thinking. In fact, at High school I had a lucrative little business selling a mate’s dad’s Playboy, Penthouse and other magazines which he threw away most months. In the comparatively sheltered world of a rural High School, sex was only rumoured – none of my crowd were actually doing it!
When I got to university my eyes were opened to the possibilities, though as a bookish country boy, I didn’t really know how to interact with girls and consequently didn’t get much action. Then I discovered the wonderful world of brothels. My first experience (after saving up) was at Top of the Town – then the best brothel in town. I met a lovely girl, and though it was a perfunctory performance “sorry, I don’t kiss”, it was still pretty good.
During my 20s I dated a bit, had a few 6 month relationships but continued to take advantage of the option to pay for sex. It was a rare treat (I had to give up the occasional night out with mates to afford it) but this experience brought me to a realisation that I didn’t have to try to sleep with every girl I met. It meant I could do my own thing, make friends, not be worried about trying to ‘pick up’… and frankly I wasn’t very good at it anyway.
Before long my preferred establishment became the other famous brothel in town, the Daily Planet. Having a proper (but low paying) job and a reasonable social life I was an infrequent visitor, but started to learn a few things. It was an in fact at the Daily Planet where I was taught a very useful lesson. During a booking I was ‘DATY’ and got the dreaded tap on the shoulder, “do you know what you’re doing down there?” and had to admit I had no idea.. So then she showed me… What a moment! I smiled about that for days… and still do now…
There’s one more formative experience I’d like to share; that moment when you have met the girl you’d like to spend some time with, and you have to ask the question. What do you say? Do you ask? Or wait for her? Once, chatting with a delightful and beautiful young woman at the bar at Gotham City, she leaned towards me and delivered the best ‘close’ I have ever heard. It was delivered with a coquettish look, in a sultry, low voice just loud enough for me to hear “would you like to have sex with me?” It was devastatingly effective. I nearly fell off the bar stool. There was only one answer.
The downside of the high profile establishments are that during peak times they are very busy, which can impact the experience. For me, the lure of the big joints waned, and I tried out the smaller inner suburban brothels. Meeting the occasional delightful girl almost made up for shabby fit outs and cheap rooms, but not quite. I was never a fan of outcall agencies, as reality rarely matched the narrative, and photos were non-existent pre-internet.
When travelling I find it fun to seek some local companionship. The available options of course vary wildly, not only for the reasons above, also due to local legal restrictions, with each state in Australia, the U.S. and Europe operating under different legislation. Having travelled to Asia in recent years I have avoided any such activity entirely – mostly on the basis of health concerns..
I now find my assignations with sex workers has a different appeal. Spending time with chatting with beautiful young women is great for the ego, and let’s be honest, intimacy with a gorgeous girl is still a genuine treat. In this industry great experiences can be few and far between across the range of establishments. As I have mentioned before, Funhouse stands out from the crowd. Fresh, stylishly appointed and comfortable, with a stunning line-up of beautiful girls, in a positive working environment creates an overall experience which is impossible to beat in Australia and New Zealand.